Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
