i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
