I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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