She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
