i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
