girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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