My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
