Define "chronic" masturbator.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
