Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
