we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
