Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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