I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize