Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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