I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
