I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
