I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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