It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
