Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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