Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had to cum in my sink.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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