I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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