yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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