They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
