I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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