Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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