my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
