there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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