Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
