This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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