dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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