and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
