Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
