i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
