I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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