You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
