You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
