Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had sex on a roof
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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