her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
birth control should be required to get into college
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
