I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
