i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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