We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize