Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
