He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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