Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
