3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Are we still banned from the library?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
