I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
