I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
