its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
