Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
