just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
