walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
