uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
