I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
