Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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