did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
