whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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