I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
