oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
