At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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