Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
