Jerry, you need to find god
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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