those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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