Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
