I'm lost and stupid without you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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