My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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