Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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