We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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