I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
