I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize