I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
