Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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