i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
