Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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