I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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