Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize